My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
