It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
