So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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