But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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