just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
