How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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