Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
