we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
