it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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