what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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