i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wear drunk well.
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