this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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