and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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