Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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