it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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