i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
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I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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