Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize