Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
