I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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