I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
