so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
