The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
