Got a toothbrush?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
