singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My balls are so social today.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
