You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
