just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
