I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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