Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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