It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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