I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
