Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
