I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
