Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize