guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
