We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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