btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
