I will die if light touches me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
