u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
