Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
