I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
