How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
