Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
