I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
