I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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