So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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