wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
