Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
