who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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