Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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