NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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