IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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