You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
