She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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