do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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