Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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