just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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