the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
