butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I will pee on everything he values.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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