Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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