You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
