just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
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I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
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Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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